I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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