No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
