I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
