Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
