Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
