I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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