dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
