I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
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It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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