THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
