it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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