I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
