I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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