what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
