I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
