i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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