4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
