A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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