I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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