he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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