bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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