Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
