before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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