You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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