I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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