i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
