So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
