Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
