does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
