So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
