I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
