I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
