He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
