So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize