I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
