I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
