Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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