That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
