Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Nicole vs. Life
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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