My sheets look like a crime scene.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
