hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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