nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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