Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
