how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
