have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
