matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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