Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
