so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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