Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
