yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
