I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
