At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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