shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
