Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Randomize