I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
