You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
where are my eyebrows?
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