I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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